


Qrow's Milkshakes

by Qrows Cousins Ex-boyfriends Trashcan (qrowstrashcan)



Category: RWBY
Genre: ?????, Alternate Universe - Crack, Character Death, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Other, Sorry Not Sorry, maybe? - Freeform, ongoing, qrow or clover may have died - up to interpretation???, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23522140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qrowstrashcan/pseuds/Qrows%20Cousins%20Ex-boyfriends%20Trashcan
Summary: This is what happens when you break up with a trashcan.
Relationships: Clover Ebi/rock
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Qrow's Milkshakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Firekitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firekitten/gifts).



One day Qrow brought all the milkshakes to the back yard.

There he saw 4 men wearing bunny outfits creeping up from the shadows that remind him of all the pimp days.

Qrow walked over to the newcomers and held out the milkshakes, “Who’s thirsty?”

While Taiyang yelled out the window, “And damn right, its better than your’s!”

Clover looked over the fence, “It’s 4 in the morning - why are you doing this.”

“Why? Because I can.” Qrow snaps back while hurling a rock into Clover’s ass.

Luckily, the rock missed Clover’s beautiful ass, but it startled him enough that he fell off the fence.

  
“Noooooo,” came a far away voice, “Not my top pimp!!!!”   
  
For a moment Qrow was scared, but he pushed it aside because he needed to set up the fire pit to summon the banana lord.

The banana lord had a banana staff that radiated with light into the dusk of morning then he swiftly thrusted that staff into the air and then bodies of Ironwood fell from the sky.

Qrow held his arms out to the side, his eye closed as he smiled up at the sky, “Thank you, Banana Lord.”   
  
“No pro-” “JAUNE GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!”   
  
When there was no response, Clover walked out from behind the screen door and dragged Jaune into Qrow’s kitchen.

Before Jaune got to the kitchen, an Ironwood body knocked him on the head.

“Dammit, not again…” Taiyang grumbles as he walks outside, grabs Jaune by the ankles and drags him into the house.   
  
Meanwhile, Qrow could hear the pimp whispering behind the bushes, “Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor…”

“Tai, do you hear-”

“MY ANACONDA DONT!”

Qrow shrugs, “Well, okay then, I guess you don’t hear that.”   
  
Meanwhile, the other men in bunny suits happily sipped their milkshakes and watched in amusement.

But all of a sudden, all of the Ironwoods stood up, eyes red, their inter-neural networks linking.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“All your men are belong to us.”

One of the bunny suit men shrieks, running and jumping the fence to get away, while another looks towards Qrow, points to his milkshake, “Mind if I take this to-go?”   
  
Qrow numbly nods, as all of a sudden a futuristic Yang Xiao Long pops over the fence screaming, “I think a girl’s in trouble!”

Ruby came out of the garden shed, screaming “FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooohhh this a bad time so Imma go back.”

The Ironwoods twist their necks to gaze at Qrow. “We will take your bananas, men, milkshakes, husbands, pimps. Everything.”

Qrow tosses his remaining milkshake into the face of one of the Ironwoods, “Catch me if you can, Jimmy-bot!”   
  
“Mmmmm, milkshaaaakesssssss,” the one Ironwood bot said, his eyes turning blue.   
  
"YOU LEAVE MY BOYS ALONE!"

Qrow turns around and sees Shrek in a golden dress with eyebrows on fleek.

“A-ha!” Yang points at Shrek, “The girl in distress! Don’t worry, I’ll save you!” and runs towards him.   
  
“That’s my girl,” Taiyang cheered from the window, waving his blender/Qrow’s drink mixer.

And as Qrow surveyed his backyard, he knew that an impending battle of great importance was coming, that this swamp that his house was built upon would witness the dawn of a new age.

Then it all shatters until he sees Clover....

  
  
  
  
  


with his dead body.

  
  


THE END……???????????

**Author's Note:**

> April Fools! :D :D :D


End file.
